Sports TRACKer: It's not whether you win or lose...honestly!
I was a baseball player growing up and I've been a sportswriter and broadcaster as an adult, so I was happy when my daughter wanted to play soccer a couple years ago. Any sport is a good one, as far as I'm concerned. But I'm especially fond of team sports for young kids. They mirror the experience of going to school, where getting along with others is important, and kids learn that they are not always the center of attention.
After my daughter's second soccer season, one of her coaches asked me to team up with him to coach in the 7-8 year old division in the Apex Parks and Rec league. At first, I was hestitant because I knew very little about soccer instruction. But I figured I would let the other coach, Matt Schade, do most of the talking and I would just pitch in as necessary. As it turned out, Matt and I coached three seasons together with our children playing on the team. Most of our players were second graders, with a few first and third graders sprinkled in. And it's a parks and rec league, not a development league for kids that demonstrate advanced skills.
It was a great experience for me on many levels, but I wanted to share a few things that I learned about the kids.
First, the top priority for ALL the kids was to have fun. Even the most talented ones. Most of the kids enjoyed learning the skills, but I learned everything I needed to know about their expectations in the first few minutes of each practice. When everyone is just kicking the ball around informally, the kids want to tell you about their world: "Coach, guess what? I lost a tooth today!" or "My best friend turns 8 this weekend, and I'm going to her Build-A-Bear party!" To 7- and 8-year olds, soccer is more of an activity than a competition.
Second, when it came to playing the games, winning was virtually an afterthought. To my surprise, kids would often come off field at the end of the game and say, "Coach, did we win?" The first time it happened, I couldn't believe it. Matt and I had just spent an hour yelling enouragement, having our hopes rise and fall with every play. Did we win? For heaven's sake, I could tell you the score and who had all our shots on goal. That's when I realized that the kids are invested in the game at a completely different level. While Matt and I are both very fun-loving coaches, we really wanted to see our kids experience the fun of winning. But it wasn't that important to them. Instead, when the game was over, they were more interested in the post-game drinks and snack.
Each season, Matt and I met with the parents after the first practice. We always told them the same thing: We hope your kids have so much fun that they want to play soccer the next season. I think that was good advice. After two or three seasons, children will know for sure whether they want to continue.
Believe it or not, it's already time to sign up for spring sports in communities across the Triangle. So if you have an eager elementary school child, sign 'em up. Hopefully they will have a ball—not to mention 10 rewarding weeks of juice boxes and Chips Ahoy cookies.
For information on youth sports leagues in the Triangle, visit http://www.triangletracks.com/notes/Youth_Sports_Leagues.
After my daughter's second soccer season, one of her coaches asked me to team up with him to coach in the 7-8 year old division in the Apex Parks and Rec league. At first, I was hestitant because I knew very little about soccer instruction. But I figured I would let the other coach, Matt Schade, do most of the talking and I would just pitch in as necessary. As it turned out, Matt and I coached three seasons together with our children playing on the team. Most of our players were second graders, with a few first and third graders sprinkled in. And it's a parks and rec league, not a development league for kids that demonstrate advanced skills.
It was a great experience for me on many levels, but I wanted to share a few things that I learned about the kids.
First, the top priority for ALL the kids was to have fun. Even the most talented ones. Most of the kids enjoyed learning the skills, but I learned everything I needed to know about their expectations in the first few minutes of each practice. When everyone is just kicking the ball around informally, the kids want to tell you about their world: "Coach, guess what? I lost a tooth today!" or "My best friend turns 8 this weekend, and I'm going to her Build-A-Bear party!" To 7- and 8-year olds, soccer is more of an activity than a competition.
Second, when it came to playing the games, winning was virtually an afterthought. To my surprise, kids would often come off field at the end of the game and say, "Coach, did we win?" The first time it happened, I couldn't believe it. Matt and I had just spent an hour yelling enouragement, having our hopes rise and fall with every play. Did we win? For heaven's sake, I could tell you the score and who had all our shots on goal. That's when I realized that the kids are invested in the game at a completely different level. While Matt and I are both very fun-loving coaches, we really wanted to see our kids experience the fun of winning. But it wasn't that important to them. Instead, when the game was over, they were more interested in the post-game drinks and snack.
Each season, Matt and I met with the parents after the first practice. We always told them the same thing: We hope your kids have so much fun that they want to play soccer the next season. I think that was good advice. After two or three seasons, children will know for sure whether they want to continue.
Believe it or not, it's already time to sign up for spring sports in communities across the Triangle. So if you have an eager elementary school child, sign 'em up. Hopefully they will have a ball—not to mention 10 rewarding weeks of juice boxes and Chips Ahoy cookies.
For information on youth sports leagues in the Triangle, visit http://www.triangletracks.com/notes/Youth_Sports_Leagues.
Comment
-
Comment by Elizabeth Shugg on February 4, 2009 at 11:41pm -
I've noticed my children began tuning in much more to sports around age 7-8. Before that time, the biggest benefit seemed to be exposure to teamwork and good sportsmanship--equally important concepts. I missed out on sports at a young age and began playing during junior high. I do feel if I had been exposed to youth sports at an earlier age I would have performed my sports better. I guess this is what we all hope for our children when we sign them up for 4-year-old soccer!
Great post, Kurt.
-
Comment by Kurt Dusterberg on February 4, 2009 at 8:43pm -
Anne, you made an important point: most of us didn't play in organized sports leagues until were 7 or 8 years old. Kids today start so much younger. As you said (and Janel), we have to revise our expectations way down. The differences between second graders and kindergarteners are numerous. And not just for their physical skills and coordination, but their attention span and understanding of simple strategies.
I almost wonder if the really young leagues are counterproductive for some kids. If a 5-year-old plays an organized sport before he/she has the behavioral poise and basic skills to play, there's a good chance they will want to quit before they ever grow into the sport. It's a judgement call for parents, and not one they should take lightly.
-
Comment by Anne Woodman on February 3, 2009 at 1:16pm - I am so thankful there are parents like you who give their time to coach rec sports. My kids have taken soccer and basketball through the Morrisville leagues and really enjoyed their time. At first, I was frustrated (like Janel said) that coordination and focus weren't there, but I quickly realized 1.) I never played a sport and had no idea how intimidating a soccer ball whizzing towards me in goal was and 2.) they were tiny kids! As one neighbor dad pointed out, many of our generation didn't even start playing an organized sport until age 7 or 8, so we all need to keep it in mind that 4-year-olds are not vying for the World Cup. I think you've got the right idea. Keep the juice boxes coming! Thanks for the post!
-
Comment by Janel on January 31, 2009 at 11:27am -
Great post! I put my 4 year old in intro soccer this year and he was far more interested in being social with his little buddies than playing soccer. I felt a great deal of frustration over this and so much respect for the coaches who were trying to keep the kids focused.
This is a great way to understand soccer from my son's perspective and to remember that he is only 4 years old!
Thank you!
© 2010 Created by Elizabeth Shugg.
Powered by 
.
You need to be a member of Triangle TRACKS to add comments!
Join Triangle TRACKS